I recently endured several days of soreness following a medical procedure. It is astonishing how discomfort can wear a person down. I had maintained a positive attitude for a very long time and through many challenges but now I was starting to slip into quiet despair. I even noticed that I was praying less often and spending far less time reading the Bible.
All this was a very odd because, as I’ve written here before, for months I had been blest by an overwhelming sense of the presence of God accompanied by events that seemed full of mystery and even miracle. Now all that seemed far away.
Then one day the pressure sock that binds my left leg preparing it for a hanger slipped off as it sometimes does. When it did I discovered that the massive scab that once covered most of the remaining amputation wound had slipped off exposing fresh healthy skin. My doctor and I had been waiting six months for that moment because it meant I was ready for a prosthesis.
My world turned upside down; joy shoved despair aside, expectation swallowed up depression. But was there a lesson for me in this? There sure was. God’s hadn’t abandoned me for a moment or changed his plans for blessing but because of my self-absorption I had turned my back on God. But the thing that struck me most clearly was that my failure had not cancelled out God’s faithfulness, it only kept me from enjoying the strength and peace that flows steadily from the Creator. I have learned that when it seems that God must have departed for a far country it is more likely that I am the one who wandered off.